Why God never received a PhD
(found on the interweb – author unknown)
• He had only one major publication.
• It was in Hebrew.
• It had no references.
• It wasn’t published in a peer-reviewed journal.
• Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
• It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since?
• His cooperative efforts have been quite limited
• The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
• He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
• When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning his subjects.
• When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
• He rarely came to class; just told students to “read the book”.
• Some say he had his son teach the class.
• He expelled his first two students for learning.
• Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
• His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
• No record of working well with colleagues.