They cant kill your dreams so kittens kittens rainbow glitter ponies.
— Gaby Kupfer
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Why God never received a PhD
(found on the interweb – author unknown)

    •    He had only one major publication.
    •    It was in Hebrew.
    •    It had no references.
    •    It wasn’t published in a peer-reviewed journal.
    •    Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
    •    It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since?
    •    His cooperative efforts have been quite limited
    •    The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
    •    He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
    •    When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning his subjects.
    •    When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
    •    He rarely came to class; just told students to “read the book”.
    •    Some say he had his son teach the class.
    •    He expelled his first two students for learning.
    •    Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
    •    His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
    •    No record of working well with colleagues.